Greetings Simon,
Your last email was one of my favorite things you’ve ever written.
The wedding last weekend was an interesting experience for me. I was close enough to the bride & groom to be there for the whole wedding weekend, but I was not close enough to be in the wedding party. Because of this distinction, I saw the wedding at a distance whereas you were up front in the wedding party & it may have had a more confusing impact for you.
What do I think about marriage?
Hey dude,
When we were driving back from the wedding on Sunday night, I was furiously trying to come up with something to post about
for Monday. I ended up posting nothing because I thought I might end up writing myself straight off a cliff. I wanted to write something about marriage & how even though I’m supposed to eventually come to terms with the idea of it, I don’t know how the fuck I’ll ever do that if I didn’t do it after watching one of my closest friends get married. It’s easier for me to flush my thoughts out informally, so here goes a whole bunch a nothin’.
I call them my whore years, because I fucked myself emotionless, hysterical, lifeless, and self-pitying. I thought of myself as an untouchable tornado, resilient to the rejection of men. I fell on my face so often it amazes me that no one saw how bloodied, bruised, and dripping it was. But apparently few did, because as long as I was opening my legs, I was destined to repeat history over and over again; and I hate the movie Groundhog’s Day. Why does Ruth advise a no-d-sucking policy?
This is a response to Cole’s letter.
Dear Cole,
I think the answer to your question is actually pretty clear. If we’re talking about women (as we always are), & we’re talking about women who probably are desperate for answers (we definitely are), then the answer lies in the readership of Cosmopolitan magazine.
You answered your own question, in effect, when you said that the magazine serves a purpose in the fashion, makeup, & jewelry world. As a magazine, they’re really just trying to get women to read the magazine in whatever capacity that may be. In this case, they’ve chosen fashion, makeup, and jewelry as their targets (all of which make plenty of sense).
The fact is, they don’t NEED the bullshit columns & the same exact lists, secrets, & “how to” sections in each issue in order to sell the magazine. The catch is this: if Cosmo was only these same lists over and over again, people would NEVER FUCKING BUY IT. The articles exist there because they figure that if women are reading the magazine, they can create gossip, stir up some emotions, and continue to attract the women to subscribe to their magazine. Many women probably write these dumb ass articles off right away but still read the entire thing. That means Cosmo is doing it’s job pretty well. (By the way, to Doniree’s point about how they call it journalism, I can only say this: they shouldn’t call it journalism. They should call it shitty advertising.)
Tons of my close girl friends, and plenty of women on the street, on the bus, shopping, drinking, and even showing it with body language if you pay close attention, complain about how they never meet any good guys, how all the guys who approach them are all douche bags; “Why can’t I ever get approached by any nice guys?”. Ladies, does this sound familiar? Find out the secret to meeting nice guys.
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