About Simon & Cole

About

Simon & Cole are the go-to source for a naked & raw, male perspective on sex & relationships.

Simon’s Auto-Bio

My goal is to do one of three things to my readers: you should either be laughing, wildly disagreeing, or thinking “That is so true!” while reading my commentary. Do I have anything more than the dude standing next to you at the grocery store, when it comes to experience? Nope. What makes me unique is my unadulterated tone & my knack for making the serious seem silly.

Ultimately, I’d like to be a writer or a comedian or a talk show host or all three. I’m not sure how to do that if your uncle doesn’t own a giant corporation, so this is part of my attempt to stick my foot in the door.

I’ve been involved in all kinds of relationships. Each one was unique, loving, & fun, but ultimately unsuccessful. I use these experiences to offer humor & advice when it comes to loving other human beings.

Here are a few other words to help describe me.

S – Smile, anyone? Fine, don’t. It’s your life that I’m laughing at, though.

I – Intense. I like to get worked up about anything & everything. I’m not scary, just passionate and animated.

M – Meltdown confusion. If it seems like I’m having an emotional breakdown or some kind of life crisis, I’m likely not. Being fiery is actually a gift in that it allows people to see your extremes.

O – Onions, not Oranges. I believe that people are like onions in that they are multi layered as opposed to the orange analogy which promotes brevity when describing people. Part of what we do, as social animals, is communicate. My opinion is that we are all very complicated (& hilarious) beings.

N – Nervously long winded. I hate awkward silences, & even when I write, I tend to drag things out. Please stand by.

Cole’s Auto-Bio

I’ve always been the guy whom everyone comes to for relationship advice. Girls, guys, people that don’t even know me, tell me that I have an ability to see things from a universal perspective. Until recently, I didn’t think much of the fact that I spend hours a day on the phone with friends from other states or countries talking them through their relationship-based & sexual hardships, nor did I have any clue why it might be useful to be able to see things from other people’s perspectives.

Then I made a decision. I realized that I wanted to be a sex and relationship therapist. While I am taking the steps to do so, I wanted to share some of my thoughts and perspectives about sex & relationships with the world in the hopes that maybe someone can read something I wrote and say, “Hey, I never thought of it like that,” and maybe it would help them evolve in their own sexuality and relationship-ality.

For the benefit of the guys, I feel I can share some stories & insights & bring to light to some of the misconceptions we may have about women from the women themselves when they write in. For the women, I see myself aiding in answering the most confusing question a woman can face in a heterosexual relationship, “What is he really thinking?” I want to bridge the gap between partners, with honesty.

What I would really like to be is a male version of Abby from the newspaper column Dear Abby. I have a dream that guys will write in their stories and confusions and I will have the resources in myself or in a female correspondent to answer them, & women will write in with their questions & I can explain to them what the guy is really thinking.

Obviously, there is the question of why I am qualified to be the counselor I hope to be, already. This is the point where a bio comes in…

I fell in love with a girl when I was 11 years old & stayed in love with her for many years. We went through every possible stage of relationship together & I learned an immense amount about myself and sex and relationships.

I had a wonderful, traditional first relationship from 15 to 17 where I had all the normal firsts that a teenage boy is supposed to have.

In college I was still teetering back & forth about being in love with my first love, but I managed to sleep with a lot of girls & also managed to feel pretty terrible about many of them. It was always a stern look in the mirror afterward, but a good learning experience. I dated women a few years younger than me & 18 years older than me & everything in between. Although, I don’t regret anything I have experienced, I am also not proud of all of it. But, in the end, along with my other dating & loving experiences, it gave me all the puzzle pieces to fill a comprehensive board to draw from in my thoughts, perspectives, & advice.

I don’t by any means feel that I am done learning, & I look forward to everything I have left to experience. &, I hope that I can help a few people by the time I’m done.