SubscribeAfter I arrived back to the US a few weeks ago, I began noticing several changes in my life. A year away is a long time & yet
nothing seems to have changed but me. Aside from the obvious triple l (location, language, & linguistics) I encountered another harsh l word: loneliness. It’s weird as a guy my age to admit or even brush over the thought that I could be lonely. It’s even weirder to think that had I really sat down & thought about it five years ago, I could have guessed that this was coming. You could have too.
Category: S&C Year 1: Confessions of Character
Manifestations of Loneliness
3-Day Vacation Romance (preferably somewhere tropical)
I love the idea of the long-term, monogamous relationship. I love the idea of having a companion. The idea of growing old with
someone is nice. The thought that we could help each other evolve as we traverse the complex inner-workings of life & its sometimes-difficult processes, is certainly a positive one. Starting a family sounds wonderful. In summary, the whole traditional relationship–go through life together, get married, so on & so forth–concept is really a lovely ideal in my mind.
But–& there is always a but–it’s hard for me to believe that I could, in reality, spend my life with one person and not get bored, and/or that I could find someone who can deal with my desire to lead an incredibly random life of traveling and wanting to do a new thing every hour. My mind also comes to question monogamy as human nature. Yet, I digress, because these are just exterior issues of the root problem, which is that I cannot seem to fathom what it may be like to find someone that has all the qualities I want in a person, and furthermore that I even know that a person with those qualities is really the right person for me. I just seem to have a chronic head-cold which involves completely over-thinking everything instead of just letting things happen as they may, and enjoying the process, instead of it’s fruits. “…[I] think too much and feel too little…” -Charlie Chaplin, The Great Dictator
Porn
Raise your hand if you’ve watched, and enjoyed, porn…*raises hand*
I recently read a book called Snuff by Chuck Palahnuik. For those who haven’t read a book by Palahnuik, do so soon! He is not only hilarious, but the research he puts into his historical elements parallels the wealth of bizarre American history in a Dan Brown book, which happens to be the only redeeming thing about Dan Brown books. Anyway, back to the point. Snuff is about a washed up porn star who is trying to end her career by breaking the record for the number of sex acts performed in a row (according to the definition this is a finger in vagina, hand on penis, mouth on penis or vagina, or penis in vagina for at least one minute) . This film is going to make millions and millions of dollars which will go to her lost child that no one really knows exists, except in myth. Read on…
Compromise
Lately I’ve been thinking. Well, that’s a lie; I’m always thinking and dreaming up some theory or social critique or sexual hypothesis. But recently, I’ve been wondering about what it means to compromise.
23 is a weird age. Generally we have just graduated college, and are trying to figure out what to do with our lives amidst a small quarter-life crisis.
Most 23 year olds’ crises revolve around career. Now more than ever, both guys and girls are freaking out about what they are going to do with our lives.
The other freak-out option is relationships. Read on…
Sumpin’ New
I’ve been blogging a lot more than I usually do (reading others, that is) and I think for that reason I’m gonna do a little experiment. We started this thing about five months back as a way to write down our feelings in a comprehensive, cathartic, and clever manner. That has meant a lot of things to both Cole and I, with a few samples listed here: theorems, rants about obvious plugs for boning, stories about plucking anal virginities, numerous lists, and poems of desperation. I’ve tried my heart out to be creative, riveting, compelling, but most of all, honest. I try to post whatever is on my mind. Most of the time, that comes out in short, less than 1000 words posts that have a story, some animated characters, and usually some sex slipped in this hole or that orifice. Today, I’m going to just type whatever comes up in my head until the word count thingy says 1000. Here goes. That’s two less words I can use. Shit. (10)
Bliss Connection
