I’m a stripper in Queens, NY. I don’t have a boyfriend & I don’t have kids. Not even a cat or a Goldfish. I’m an adventurous cash strapped girl trying to keep my life interesting while working for instant dough.

Society as a whole looks down on strippers. You could say I don’t fall into the mold of a stripper with a rough background or history of sexual abuse. I have a degree from a top 50 college & come from a predominantly white liberal upper middle class town. One would ask why the hell I do it. Why not just bar-tend or waitress for cash to supplement an entry level 9-5er with a meager salary of 30K give or take a couple thousand?

The first reason I strip is the cash. The Ten (11) Stripping Commandments

Girls turn the water on when they pee. It’s true! Probably not when they are alone but when there is a man in the vicinity of the bathroom they are in, they turn on the water to disguise the fact that they are actually peeing. To a man this sounds ridiculous. Years ago I myself dropped the whole ‘hide my pee’ faucet routine & you know why? Is the faucet a representation of insecurity?

Many relationships are based on the idea that you & another person spend oodles of time together & instead of hating each other because of it, you end up falling in love. The majority of facets in a relationship can be sorted into a list i.e. qualities you enjoy about that person, why you started dating, differences that you enjoy about your significant other, etc. But what happens when you have the most beautiful story book of a relationship, but it fails at the fairy tale ending?

Once upon a time, my two best friends started dating.

Monica & Joe’s relationship started out wonderful just as most relationships do. They shared similar majors in college, many mutual friends, & because of this, spent most of their daily activities with one another.

Monica & Joe’s demise

When presented with the opportunity to be the female perspective on Simon and Cole, we were somewhat unsure about what in the sexual and relationship world we felt we had enough authority on to offer our wisdom. We decided we either had to be deep or dirty. Dirty, as usual, won. As we discussed our many sexual interests, we both alluded to the fact that we were getting horny – and maybe we should take a break to rub one out. BINGO! Masturbation.

Get Kate & Lilys perspective on masturbation here….

I call them my whore years, because I fucked myself emotionless, hysterical, lifeless, and self-pitying. I thought of myself as an untouchable tornado, resilient to the rejection of men. I fell on my face so often it amazes me that no one saw how bloodied, bruised, and dripping it was. But apparently few did, because as long as I was opening my legs, I was destined to repeat history over and over again; and I hate the movie Groundhog’s Day. Why does Ruth advise a no-d-sucking policy?